Some of Stew's Story...part one

Cancer is not who Stew is.
Cancer is not his only story.
Cancer can not rob him of the life he has lived, or the days he has yet to.

The thought has crossed our mind that for many cancer is the only chapter of Stew's life that is known, but there is so much more.

So, we would like to change that at least a little bit. Some may not know that Stew served in the United States Army for 24 years. He was drafted during the Vietnam War.

Recently he was asked by a young sophomore girl I know if he would be her "soldier" and answer survey questions for a school assignment. He said yes.

It is a bit long, but well worth the read.

1.      What is your full name? Gary Vance Stewart

2.      What branch of the military did you serve in? The United States Army

3.      How many years did you serve? I was drafted in February of 1970 and served until 1994.  I served for 24 years.

4.      Where did you serve? I was drafted during the Vietnam War. I completed basic training at Fort Dix, New Jersey, and my AIT (Advanced Infantry Training) in Fort Ord, California. From there I was sent to Cu Chi, the jungles of Vietnam, and Kontum. 

Following that, as a family, we were stationed in:

Fort Riley, Kansas,

East Liverpool, Ohio, as a Recruiter

Schwabach, Germany,

Nuremberg, Germany,

Fort Knox, Kentucky,

Schweinfurt, Germany,

and Fort Polk, Louisiana.

5.      How old were you when you enlisted? I didn’t. I was drafted in 1970. I was 19.

6.      How long was your longest deployment period? Germany-5 years.

                                                                                                                                             

7.      How did your absence affect your family? Except for Vietnam, they were all accompanied tours. I was in Vietnam for 11 months and 24 days. During that time Deb and I were engaged, but not  married. It was difficult for her and my parents. Mail was not shipped on a regular basis and phone calls were extremely rare. To make a call I had to be at a base, which was not often, and wait in line with other soldiers to make a radio call that sometimes failed. Each soldier only had 3 minutes. I was able to call home 1 time.

 Even though I would write to her daily when possible she could go 2, 3, 4 weeks or longer without receiving anything. Mail was sent out in bulk and only when I returned to the base.

During the no mail times the only information she received was that which she heard on the television or read in the newspaper. It is frightening to read that the last place you knew your loved one was located was overrun by the Viet Cong.

She would wait for the mailman every day in hopes for a letter. If one came she would check the date to see if it was written prior to an attack, or after. If it was written after, there was relief. If it was written before, fear and worry. Even though it wasn’t spoken out loud, inside she and my parents were waiting for either a personal letter, or the notification of death that no one wanted to receive.

She was only 17/18. I was only 19/20. She had to learn to face and deal with fear, while still hoping to see me. So was I.

 There were other times that I was gone on maneuvers, and times we were separated as a family during the transition of a move. The longest being 4 months.  For my wife, during those absences she was basically the only present parent with all the responsibilities that went with that role.  We had a calendar that our children would mark off each day until my expected day of return. And, they would pray for me.

For our son, when he was younger, his grades would drop slightly and he would become a bit more unsure, timid and have difficulty sleeping. This would happen for about two weeks and then he would begin to adjust to the change.

For our daughter, she seemed to understand that it was only for a period.

I asked our son how he felt it was during my absences.

He said that he knew I was gone, but he doesn’t really remember what it felt like except for one big memory. That memory was of a time when I was due to come home and he kept asking his mom if it was the day yet. When she finally said yes, he climbed a tree and waited so he could see “his dad” coming home.

What was life like upon returning home?

Upon my return from Vietnam, soldiers were not welcomed home. In fact, it was the exact opposite. The reaction in the larger airports made it obvious that we weren’t welcome. You would wear your uniform on a military flight and change into civilian clothes to take the domestic flight.

Life was an adjustment. I was glad to be home, but still had memories of the battles fought. I almost felt the need to not let others know that I had been in Vietnam.

I was so happy to be home. But, it took a while to be able to sleep soundly, to get use to the normalcy of everyday life, and to learn how to relax again. I wanted to be where I was, not talk about where I had been.

Returning home from shorter separations, once I had a family, were always highly anticipated times filled with lots of hugs, talking, and catching up.

How did war change the future of your family?

For my parents and I, our relationship was never the same. They never really asked what it was like, how I was, or wanted to discuss the time I was gone. It was as if that time of my life never existed for them. They couldn’t deal with what I had faced. That left a wall between us.

It also changed the dreams Deb and I had set.  We both lived in small towns where most people went to school, got a job, got married, and remained there. Serving in a war opened our eyes to something more. We were married two weeks after my return and moved to Fort Riley, Kansas. We chose to remain in the military for 24 years. So, it not only changed our future, but the type of life our children experienced.

What was deployment life like and what kind of relationships did you have with other soldiers?

If this question is applied to war time deployment my answer is that is too difficult to describe so that another would understand.

Here is just a glimpse.

We never knew where the enemy was and when we would come upon them.

Temperatures were as high as 120 degrees, and there were monsoon seasons where it would rain for weeks at a time. Days were spent walking in rice paddies and nights spent sleeping in them. We always took turns sleeping because guards were always needed. I was afraid to sleep and too tired not to.

We were carrying weapons that we had never heard of just three months prior. There were leeches, jungle rot, scorpions, porcupines, and snakes called Charlie step and a half.

Death was always close, and life was always hoped for. We lost fellow soldiers right before our very eyes.

And, during it all, there was a sense of togetherness. We needed each other. We depended on one another for our safety and protection. As soldiers who had never met before, we had to quickly learn to trust each other, we were all we had and that was everything.

 When we would return to the base camp, we would rest, play cards, and sometimes share about home and family. There was not a lot of talk about the future.

Last week Stew and I went to the VA Facilities approximately 45 minutes from our home.  Our applications have been accepted and our badges given for us both to become volunteers at the VA Community Living Center! 

 Stew is hoping to  have one on one visits with those who live there. He wants to be a listening ear to their stories and let them know that he understands. His prayer is they will feel valued and know their service in appreciated.

I am hoping to volunteer in the Dementia/Alzheimer's wing.

On our way out we saw the helicopter in the above picture. It is the type of helicopter that Stew rode in. As we reflected on those days and he shared some about the experiences he had, we both felt such gratitude that he made it home, and such sorrow for those who didn't.

Thanking the Father for you,

Deb and Stew

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