One of the most caring questions asked, and the most difficult to answer is:
How is Stew doing?
He is fighting, still prayerfully determined, depending on the Father, and hurting. For so long he has been able to push past the way his body was betraying him with cancer and still enjoy so much life. We knew how to take rests, make adjustments, etc. That has been God's grace gift to us.
Now we are watching the disease overtake him...(this is so hard to put into words)
Stew is in a lot of pain, unable to eat much, and so tired. His stomach is swollen, and sometimes he leans against the wall or holds onto things when he walks. It all depends on how his balance is at that moment.
He can not always feel his feet or his fingers.
In fact, last time we were able to dance under-the-stars, he couldn't even tell that he was stepping on my toes. As we held each other and carefully danced to "Make You Feel My Love" we laughed and then cried.
His nights are spent in constant movement, or sitting on the edge of the bed as he attempts to adjust his position to minimize the pain. When we lie down in the evening, we place pillows about Stew so I don't accidentally bump him, and we gently hold hands.
Most of the hours of his days this week have been spent in bed.
Those who share their days with us are seeing it, too. It hurts to know their hearts are aching because of their love for him, but it also brings him comfort to see them pressing in even more to be actively and sacrificially present in our lives...another God grace gift to give us hope and strength. We are humbled by the love they show in simply staying close.
Even in tears, I love to see the love of my life being loved so well.
We knew mentally all the possibilities of what could happen to Stew (without a miracle) at our very first oncology visit, but knowing with your head isn't the same as experiencing it in your heart and seeing it before your eyes. To now be living it out makes us feel as though we are slowly breaking in pieces.
Yet, at the same time we are continually reminded, even this week, of the kindnesses of the Father, the truth of His Word, and His never-ending love. He has graced our days with some moments of laughter and the treasure of His Presence.
Yet, at the same time we are continually reminded, even this week, of the kindnesses of the Father, the truth of His Word, and His never-ending love. He has graced our days with some moments of laughter and the treasure of His Presence.
Still praying for a miracle. Still keeping Faces to the Wall.
Love,
Stew and Deb
Some sweet moments the past week:
Hearing the low sound of Noah's and Stew's voices in the bedroom as Noah visited with him and they talked.
Listening to Shiloh pray for her PawCaw.
Holding hands with my best friend and love of my life.
Amy's evening visits and daily texts to check on us and say "I love you."
Laura's daily prayers and listening ear.
The prayers of my BSF class, group leader, and their understanding.
Clarke and Stew's friendship. It is something special to see.
Listening to Stew go beyond the way he feels to comfort and pray for a neighbor overcome by grief.
Debby coming to our home twice a week to stay with my sis so Stew and I can go to the clinic.
My sis and the way she makes me laugh.
A new friend's offer to come over any time day or night if needed.
God's kind Presence in early morning quiet time.
Stew's gentle smile.
My hair stylist, Holly, who knows just how to keep life normal and make me laugh.
A precious Resurrection Sunday afternoon with family and friends.
Boxes of Kleenex.
The prayers of so many...of you!
God timed texts from a dear friend I have never met. (Thank you, Kenya)
Smoothie King
And...
Thankful💕
