Our Day

This is Deb:

It's 12:42 in the morning and sleep is not coming easily. My mind keeps replaying our day like a tape recorder with no off button. 

Stew recently told me that "Quiet time" with the Father should be changed to "Reflection time." His reasoning was that we are created in the image of God and we are a reflection of Him in this life we live. That meant we needed to sit more in the Presence of the Father asking to hear His heart and reflect more on Who He is...His character and His Word...so we would reflect more of Him than ourselves. In the mornings and evenings prior to this hospital stay I would find Stew sitting in his chair with his eyes closed, not just because he was so tired, but because He was reflecting on God in silent worship. 

Whatever the Father was pouring into Stew during that time is now being reflected in the hospital. He is uncomplaining, smiling to all who come in his room, and ready to fight for a future. There is an added gentle peace to his countenance that transcends the weariness in his eyes and discomfort in his body. Another reason why he is my hero.

I want to be more like him. Today began a little rough as I battled between what I saw and what I believed. My eyes saw the now 27 pound weight loss, but my heart cried out for healing. My hands felt the bony-ness of his hands holding mine, and my mind remembered how strong they have always been. Circumstances or Faith? I was a little like the man in the Bible, who when seeking healing for his son, answered the question of Jesus about if he believed by saying, "I believe. Help my unbelief." That man had a rough moment, too. 

But, that's not the end of the story. Jesus saw the need and healed his son. Jesus saw my need and chased that rough start of the day away over and over again with grace moments. 

• Dr. Kinsella spoke to us about recognizing that God was in control and giving us an example from her own life. She spoke of prayer, faith, and things that really mattered. She offered no promises, but she reminded us of the One Who is the Promise Keeper.
• One of the staff thought Stew might like a visit from a therapy dog named Macy. This beautiful big marshmallow of a yellow lab bounded straight for Stew when she came in the room and began to lick the side of his face loving on him. What a sweet moment it was! 
• Stew was able to get some restful sleep in the afternoon.
• Amy and family were there in the evening and we talked, laughed, prayed and did life as normal.
• Our son, Ben, surprised us with a late evening text to say that he will be here in the morning. Actually this morning, now. Joy!
• We received encouraging texts, emails, blog site comments that gifted us with words of faith, prayer, encouragement, and practical help around our house.
• My sis spent the day and this evening simply being there.
• The staff continued to minister good care and kindness with beautiful smiles.

God's grace was woven throughout the entire day because of others. He is so faithful to minister to us even when we hit a rough spot between what we see and what we believe. His love is not based on us always having everything together. He loves us because we are His. In our weakness He is strong. So thankful! 

Prayer:

The chemo did not begin today. Treatment will begin first thing in the morning. (Thursday) There was a delay due to a test that was done and results not received in time. Please keep Stew in your prayers throughout the day and continue to pray/wage warfare for healing. Sounds like the chemo is going to be about a 6 hour process.  Faces to the Wall. :-)

Thankful for you,

Stew and Deb
Isaiah 26:3

 STAR PATIENT

Signs we saw when entering the 6th floor oncology wing. God's comforting Word.

Well, the bone marrow biopsy is complete, port for chemo inserted, and the type of chemo Stew will be given has been decided. It is a relatively new treatment that for some patients has proven to be less harsh on their body, and has brought about remission for some, as well. So very much hoping and praying he is one.  

The nurses have been very kind, helpful, and thoughtful. His oncologist is informative and really seems to care. Even the person doing the registration said she would be praying for us. What a blessing to hear comments like that throughout the day from those responsible for your care!

As more information comes our way it feels a little as though we are in a foreign land receiving a crash course on a language we have never heard before. Glad everyone is so patient with our questions, and we (I)do ask a lot. The nurse even personally printed out two information sheets for us with definitions and explanations of some of what was taking place. 

Stew handled the day with grace and a gentle smile... even the things we didn't exactly enjoy hearing. That is probably why he was told that he was their Star Patient for the day. I know he is definitely mine! :-)

You blessed us this day with your texts, words of encouragement, and offers of help.

We thank God upon every remembrance of you, and we do remember you a lot.

Gary and Deb

Prayer Requests:
Good response to chemo

Healing

Strength in Stew's body

Our family

Those caring for Stew...that they will have wisdom, and we will see and not miss our opportunities to bless them as they are blessing us.

Yesterday and Today...

Yesterday we heard words we didn't want to. Words such as:

Bone marrow biopsy

Chemo

Port 

50/50

Hospitalization Tuesday (today)

Malignant lymphomas in 3 locations, but other test results not in yet

Stage 4

Aggressive

Yesterday we heard words we needed to hear:

God was with us and so was our friend.

Text from a friend asking how my "best friend was doing." 

Blogsite comment reminding us of who we were, Who God was in our lives, and of memories shared from years gone by.

Family texts of I love yous and "Face to the Wall" reminders

Phone calls/messages of prayers of encouragement

Yesterday we were:

Filled with hope

Hit with fear

Overcome with thankfulness

Crying silently

Laughing out loud

Battling thoughts

Making difficult phone calls

Navigating through words we didn't want to have to speak out loud

Speaking volumes without sound...but by the grip of a hand and reassurance of a hug

Today we (Stew) are:

Waiting for a hospital call

Facing a bone marrow biopsy

Insertion of a port

Looking at a possible first round of chemo

Staying in the hospital at least three days

Quietly staying close

Praying

Standing on God's Word

Facing the Wall

Today we ask for:

Your prayers

You to Face the Wall with us

Good Reports

Strength and courage

Peace and Hope

God's overwhelming tangible presence

Wisdom

Healing, Healing, Healing

A Future

A glimpse into my wonderful husband's heart and faith:

Stew: Deb, I know we don't get to go see the Steelers play this year because of the finances in buying a new home, but next year we are going.

Me: Are you missing getting to see the Steelers play?

Stew: I am just believing  that I do have a future.

Thanking God for you,

Gary and Deb

Isaiah 38:2-3

Swingin' and Restin'

Exodus 33:14 “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

So thankful we splurged on this big old sturdy swing about 10 years ago to set in the back yard. It has been covered many times over with Thompson Water Seal and different types of cushions. There has been a lot of talking, book reading, sharing, popsicles, hot cocoa, star gazing, jumping off of, praying, and snuggling shared on that swing. Today it is the perfect place to rest for this thin, but still oh-so-handsome husband of mine. :-)

Prayer: Monday afternoon at 3:30 is our return visit to the Oncologist to receive the results of the tests that have been done this past week, and her recommendations.  Please continue praying.   As our daughter-in-law Nili shared...

Mrs Debbie, we are praying and believing for a miracle in Pawcaw's body! He is faithful that promised and He cannot lie! We don't deny reality we just deny its right to attack Pawcaw! 

Thanking God for you. Thank you for the loving and encouraging texts, comments, and cards we have already received. You are a blessing!

In Him,

Gary and Deb