Round 2, Day 1 Thoughts

You are on my side
You go before me
You stand behind...

Nothing on this earth can ever separate me from your love...

"On My Side" Kim Walker


Today's (Friday's) admittance to the hospital found us on a different cancer floor with different nurses. We just assumed we would be in the same area as last time. After all, we had become familiar with it. I knew where the showers, towels, extra blankets, pillows, exercise bikes, and patient/family free snack center was located.

Stew had developed a camaraderie with those caring for him, and we had walked many times around the nurses station sharing laughs and conversations while we were there three weeks ago. 26 times equals 1 mile by the way. And, even though it had only been a three day stay, we felt we were returning to a comfortable place. At least, as comfortable of a place as it can be when you are having chemo.

But, God had gone before us once again, and was about to take us to another place where we would see His kindness and know His loving care.

So, we should not have been surprised when in the course of a conversation his nurse mentioned she had worked in the stem cell transplant center for 19 years before changing to what she was now doing on the infusion floors, but we were.  As Stew and I asked a few generic questions about stem cell treatments and care in general, we learned some of what may be ahead for us.  We saw just a glimpse of the challenges, life style changes, and the extraordinary length of time the process truly takes as the body fights its way back to health and wholeness. It was definitely a reality check.

Yet, God knew we needed to hear from just one person who had experienced or knew something about what we were praying wisdom for, and He opened that door.  He had us walk past one place of comfortableness to another place of faith and rest in Him.

By that one conversation He increased our hope and revealed to us once again His kindness and pro-activeness on the behalf of His children. He truly is "on our side", and when we "let him" He reveals it to us over and over again.

Oh, and a side benefit, Stew got to wear a pink and white mask. 😉 You can't tell it, but he really is smiling. As our daughter said,  "Only real men wear pink."


But, I still think blue is his best color!



More tomorrow...

With love, prayers, and gratitude,
Stew and Deb

Faces to the Wall

Weepy Days

                                                                                               

I use to think  my tears had to be hidden, denied, or choked back.

I use to think my tears were a sign of weakness, lack of control, or emotionalism.

I use to think my tears were a cause of embarrassment, shame, and failure.

I use to think this only about my tears, not anyone else's.

Stew use to think some, not all, of the same.

Years ago, when we read Psalm 56: 8, we slowly began to realize our tears were important to God. He valued them.

And, He knew there would be "weepy" days.

Today was one.

Today:

 We received a text from a friend we have come to know through chemo days. After 5 different chemo protocols, her chemo treatments are done. Not because she is in remission, but because she isn't. She is only 36 years old.

We learned that someone who has been a part of our lives for 10 years has stage 4 cancer.

We were informed that a friend of ours has been diagnosed with dementia.

We realized Stew has now lost 45 to 50 pounds, depending on the time of day.

We read the following words in the "doctor's report ": I had a lengthy discussion with the patient regarding the overall prognosis...He has residual disease in his abdomen and the suspicion that his cecal disease is worsening. The patient has extensive bone marrow disease... In general, patients with mantle cell have poor long-term disease control.

Weepy days are not just birthed out of sadness, but gladness, too.

Today:

Our day began with this early morning text from a new friend:

And, I will give you treasures hidden in darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the One Who calls you by name. Isaiah 45

The day lilies in the backyard bloomed in a beautiful display of yellow and purple hues.

We received a text from our son.

We enjoyed dinner with Amy, Chad, Noah, and Shiloh.

Noah and I sat on the bench and simply visited.

Shi and I danced and sang in the park.

Stew pushed me on a swing, and we laughed like children.

We took a slow stroll around the lake with family.

And, this evening we read the following in a text from another person God has gifted into our lives:

Yes, it was a weepy day, but God already had us covered from beginning to end by His Word shared through others. Nothing catches Him off guard!

Update:
*The past week and a half has been a bit rougher for Stew. His platelets hit a new low and an infusion/transfusion had to be given last week in an attempt to build them back up.
*On Friday, April 28th, he will be admitted to the hospital for three days as he receives the next round of chemo.
*Then, in the following week or so, another pet scan will be given to see if his body has achieved remission.

With each new challenge that comes his way, Stew truly radiates more and more peace and gentleness in his countenance. It is as if he glows. This man of God, my husband, is my hero.

Thank you for your continued prayers. You are a joy to us both and we love you.

Faces to the Wall as we trust in our Father,
Stew and Deb

Family

Family!