Our Day

This is Deb:

It's 12:42 in the morning and sleep is not coming easily. My mind keeps replaying our day like a tape recorder with no off button. 

Stew recently told me that "Quiet time" with the Father should be changed to "Reflection time." His reasoning was that we are created in the image of God and we are a reflection of Him in this life we live. That meant we needed to sit more in the Presence of the Father asking to hear His heart and reflect more on Who He is...His character and His Word...so we would reflect more of Him than ourselves. In the mornings and evenings prior to this hospital stay I would find Stew sitting in his chair with his eyes closed, not just because he was so tired, but because He was reflecting on God in silent worship. 

Whatever the Father was pouring into Stew during that time is now being reflected in the hospital. He is uncomplaining, smiling to all who come in his room, and ready to fight for a future. There is an added gentle peace to his countenance that transcends the weariness in his eyes and discomfort in his body. Another reason why he is my hero.

I want to be more like him. Today began a little rough as I battled between what I saw and what I believed. My eyes saw the now 27 pound weight loss, but my heart cried out for healing. My hands felt the bony-ness of his hands holding mine, and my mind remembered how strong they have always been. Circumstances or Faith? I was a little like the man in the Bible, who when seeking healing for his son, answered the question of Jesus about if he believed by saying, "I believe. Help my unbelief." That man had a rough moment, too. 

But, that's not the end of the story. Jesus saw the need and healed his son. Jesus saw my need and chased that rough start of the day away over and over again with grace moments. 

• Dr. Kinsella spoke to us about recognizing that God was in control and giving us an example from her own life. She spoke of prayer, faith, and things that really mattered. She offered no promises, but she reminded us of the One Who is the Promise Keeper.
• One of the staff thought Stew might like a visit from a therapy dog named Macy. This beautiful big marshmallow of a yellow lab bounded straight for Stew when she came in the room and began to lick the side of his face loving on him. What a sweet moment it was! 
• Stew was able to get some restful sleep in the afternoon.
• Amy and family were there in the evening and we talked, laughed, prayed and did life as normal.
• Our son, Ben, surprised us with a late evening text to say that he will be here in the morning. Actually this morning, now. Joy!
• We received encouraging texts, emails, blog site comments that gifted us with words of faith, prayer, encouragement, and practical help around our house.
• My sis spent the day and this evening simply being there.
• The staff continued to minister good care and kindness with beautiful smiles.

God's grace was woven throughout the entire day because of others. He is so faithful to minister to us even when we hit a rough spot between what we see and what we believe. His love is not based on us always having everything together. He loves us because we are His. In our weakness He is strong. So thankful! 

Prayer:

The chemo did not begin today. Treatment will begin first thing in the morning. (Thursday) There was a delay due to a test that was done and results not received in time. Please keep Stew in your prayers throughout the day and continue to pray/wage warfare for healing. Sounds like the chemo is going to be about a 6 hour process.  Faces to the Wall. :-)

Thankful for you,

Stew and Deb
Isaiah 26:3