It is always difficult to write the post that gives an update on how effective chemo has been in attacking the cancer in Stew's body. It is difficult for two reasons:
*We receive the same news each time.
*And, we have to tell each of you the same news each time.

When you share with friends and family who have been faithfully praying for over a year through the ups and downs of four different chemo regimens, it hurts to say "No remission, no healing yet." Why? Because we know how long most of you have been standing with us, we know some might be getting tired of the battle (and understandably so), and we don't want to cause any discouragement or hurt to those we care about.

Yet, here we are again.

According to the test results, and the way Stew's body feels, the cancer continues to grow. Stew is considered to be in that extremely small percentile whose body seems to simply resist chemotherapy and targeted therapy.

This time the two major medical professionals in our team met with us. They were caring, supportive, and gently direct. Even when we sat in the room hearing what they had to say, we felt so much gratitude for the caring concern they both displayed.

So, no more chemotherapy. They have tried all of what there is for the type of mantle cell Stew has.

After prayer and conversation, Stew has begun taking four pills a day of a targeted therapy regimen with the hopes of slowing down the cancer growth. Our doctor has also been contacting different hospitals across the United States to see if they will accept Stew into a clinical trial. There is one called CAR-T that seems to hold the promise of being effective against Mantle Cell. No positive responses yet to their inquiries, but they are not giving up.

As for us, it is a new season. Stew had been trying to work some, but is now no longer able to keep it up. The weariness and headaches are too overwhelming at times.

Our days are spent taking slow walks, reading, sharing, praying, and working on small projects one step at a time. (With a few naps thrown in for Stew) We are determined to live life with prayerful intentionality. Not just to make moments, but with the purpose of capturing moments. 

A captured moment in words: Just last week we were told about an 80 year old gentleman who lives alone in our neighborhood and has cancer. His days are now limited to a wheelchair with his dogs as companions. Stew and I walked down to meet him and ended up visiting with him for almost two hours. He has lived such an interesting life, and due to some of the challenges he has faced, he does not believe there is a God, heaven, or hell.  Our hearts were broken for him. While there we discovered that he loves to play cribbage or backgammon, but has no one to play with.
 He does now. :-)

Captured moments in pictures:

My masked wood worker, time with Noah, teaching Shi about coin collecting, early mornings on the patio, and getting ready for cribbage with Clarke.

Slow walks part way around the lake. 

Teaching Noah guitar.

With hearts of gratitude for you and to the Father,
Love and Prayers,
Stew and Deb

"This is how I fight my battles"
Be sure to listen to the words:-) You will want to break out in dancing and praise! We do!

https://youtu.be/NoAqymNcBTk

This main body of this blog post was written by Clarke.

When Clarke learned of the cancer in Stew's body, he proceeded to give Stew the promise of a friend who would be "present." Through texts, weekly Wednesday night cribbage games, hospital visits, words of encouragement, and prayer he has lived exactly what he said.  He and Stew have laughed together, shed tears together, and continue to hope together.

His choice to be "present" has not come without sacrifice. He loves God, is a husband, father of two teen age sons who are active in sports, travels for his job, and puts in at least 12 hour work days. Yet, except for when he is out of town, or Stew has been sick, he has not missed a single Wednesday night visit since this all began.

When we read his email with the blog post entry attached we were touched and humbled by the way he shared about himself, portrayed the truth that cancer has not been and is not Stew's only story, and that he included what God spoke to his heart recently. ( We also felt very unworthy of all the kind things he shared, yet grateful at the same time for the encouragement.💗)

Clarke is not simply "like" family to us. In our hearts he is family.

Thanking God for each of you and your faithfulness to pray.

Faces to the Wall,
Stew and Deb

I have never been a poet and no one has ever accused me of being a story teller so the thought of me writing a post for a blog is another sign that God has a sense of humor.   But I am sitting in front of a computer trying to organize my thoughts of the last year, last ten years and maybe longer.  

I have had a personal relationship with God since I was in high school.  I can thank my youth pastor Wayne Hardy, and my parents for showing me the way to the most important decision that I have ever made. That decision was made with great enthusiasm and thirst for knowledge. But that thirst has a tendency to ebb and flow as you make the journey through life.  The Holy Spirit has a knack for helping that journey bring you closer to God if we listen.  BUT…

In the spring of 2006 I would never have dreamed that God was about to introduce me to someone who would help me, my wife and my family on our journey to become more Christ-like.  As a matter of fact, she was about to meet a father that was going to give her a piece of his mind and nothing was going to change that.

My twins would be best served to repeat KINDERGARTEN, she said. The teacher who was recommending this (Ms. Deb) was just a little off her rocker I thought, and I intended to let her know. Ms. Deb had prayed and asked God for wisdom.  I came to the conference with anger and attitude. 

 I quickly came to the realization that Ms. Deb was right and that if my kids' kindergarten teacher was praying for my kids' best interest every day maybe I should be too.  

We remained friends and tried as best we could to help support the Stewarts as they walked through the Journey of Alzheimer’s with Miss Deb’s mom, Phyllis.  The one thing that I was constantly amazed at was the joy and love that Deb and Gary always had toward each other.  They had a marriage that was blessed by God.  In this time when many husbands and wives could have acted in a selfish manner the Stewarts showed a love and compassion that I could only describe as young love that never changed.  They were a shining example of God’s plan for marriage.

A year later my wife asked Ms. Deb and Mr. Gary to help us with our marriage.  Our marriage had grown tired, not bad not good.  Over the course of the next six months, they counseled my wife and I, prayed for us and loved us unconditionally.  God had once again put the right person, Mr. Gary, into my life and I allowed God to change my heart through guidance from Gary.  Our relationship had changed from a friendship to a mentor relationship that taught me the value of prayer, fellowship and accountability.

Mr. Gary and my relationship has continued to grow the last couple of years and then last year the news of cancer came.  
Numb- are you kidding me? No this is not the way things work.  This does not make sense for a God who loves his good and faithful servants.  This must just be a test.  This sucks.  

But once again Gary is teaching me.  He is teaching that me that we must have joy and trust that God is in control.   
Okay, so God will send the cure.  

Mr. Gary is teaching me that “We need to pray our hearts desires and God will hear us”.            Okay, so God, I will pray without ceasing and You will send a cure.  

Mr. Gary is teaching me that I need a warrior spirit. Okay I will fast and pray for the warrior spirit.  I will not give up because Mr. Gary has taught me that God is listening.  

And, in this time when I am sure that He is listening, He sends me a message:
Gods timing is always perfect.
It is never early, it is never late.
It is not always the answer that you are seeking but it is perfect.

My life and my family’s life have been changed forever because of the servant attitude demonstrated faithfully by Mr. Gary and Ms. Deb.  I continue to pray daily for my heart’s desire and I only know how to do that because of my teacher, Mr. Gary, that God has put into my life.

Clarke Scott

Sometimes Unscripted Moments are God Moments

Anniversary Gift Created By Our Daughter

Monday, July 31, was our 46th anniversary and the day Stew was to come home from a five day hospital stay. It was going to be a double celebration day. That is not what happened.

Early that morning Stew woke up not feeling well, hurting, and his levels not where they needed to be. The extra steroids and fluids were having their effect also as he looked a little like a smaller version of a sumo wrestler with the swelling in his face and stomach. Because the toxicity of one of the chemos had to be totally flushed out of his system before going home and wasn't, we were told Stew would have the privilege of being a guest of the hospital at least one more night.

One celebration temporarily delayed.

But, not the other.

That evening we decorated the room with balloons, his hospital tray with a tablecloth, and enjoyed one of his favorite foods; calamari from the Pho restaurant.

The nurses on his floor knew it was our anniversary because he used it to try and convince the doctor to let him go home. 😉 We received best wishes from them and questions about how we met. Each person that came into his room made us feel as though they were truly celebrating with us.

Yet, the best gift was yet to come.

When the shifts changed, our night nurse told us she heard it was our anniversary and asked what we liked to do to celebrate. We shared with her that we enjoyed dancing together in our living room or on our back patio under the stars. We told her we had tried with "IV" but she didn't cooperate very well. Our nurse smiled and said, " I think we can give you that dance."

So, when it was time to change the empty IV bag for a new one, she disconnected Stew from the pump, told us she would wait five minutes to connect the new one, and left the room so we could dance.

Which is exactly what we did.

For a few precious moments it was just Stew and I. No cancer. No hospital room. No decisions to be made. No tomorrow. Just time standing still as we held each other close...our feet slowly moving to the music that had been "our songs" for years. He even softly sang to me as we danced. It was a moment tinged with sadness, yet filled with so much joy.

It was a God gift given to us through the kindness of a caring nurse.

It was our best anniversary yet.

So thankful.

Stew and Deb

P.S. Thank you for the texts and anniversary cards we received. You made our hearts smile

Calamari with a graham cracker and peanut butter dessert

Maybe we need a class on how to take good selfies

"IV" is a Steelers' fan

Blessed

           

  

What Do You Do When You Get News You Don't Want?

You...

Cry: Oh, how I, Deb, do everything I can not to cry when we are with the doctor! This time was a miserable fail. :-(

Sit very still: That's Stew. :-)

Comfort and express gratitude for the doctor: He is trying everything he can on our behalf.

Call your family: This is added hurt because of how very much you love them.You know they are praying and believing, and it is painful to share something with those you love that on the surface appears to be in opposition to what is hoped for. Especially when you can't accompany it with a hug and share in person.

Work in the yard: (Do life as normal)

Cry some more: Actually tears kind of splatter themselves throughout the day unbidden. And not just out of sadness, but of gratitude and hope, too. They just get all mingled together. Kind of like life.

Put aside: electronics, face book, television for a few hours, and accept your son's offer to share the news with all who care.

Hug and touch a lot.

Pray: A bunch of words jumbled with emotion, half completed sentences, and no fully developed thoughts, yet fully developed in  numbness and hope. Words that are driven by a deep need and yearning for the One God more than the one answer.

Fill the house with songs: Worship songs mixed with love songs.

Give thanks: We have so many people and things to be thankful for!

Pray again: For our family and those who are staying so close to us.

Talk: about the dream trip Stew would like to take. (Right now it is a toss up between seeing the Steelers play this season, going to Yellowstone National Park, Scotland, Colorado, and of course, seeing all our friends and family.)

Sleep

Wake up: Reminding yourself of God's new mercies for the day, and His word in your heart declaring, "Do not be dismayed or discouraged because of this vast army, For the battle is not yours, but God's."2 Chronicles 20:15

Yesterday, as Ben shared, we did not receive the news hoped for. Stew is not in remission. And, for the first time an estimated time of life was shared. That one hit hard.

Today Stew is going in the hospital for his longest stay yet, five days. He will receive a hyper round of a different chemo with some being given in his spine. The cancer in the bone marrow has progressed as well. The thought is that to do this might help prevent the cancer from spreading to his brain, or slow it down.

So, the boys (boxers) are with our friend Barry. Charlee is going to the kennel, and bags are packed by the door. Now we wait on the phone call telling us a room is ready.

Thank you for the prayers and fasting.
Thank you for the gift you are to us.

Love,
Stew and Deb

You Make Me Sing on the Battlefield.

https://youtu.be/IyVP1ImEj9s

Dad's Appointment Today

Hey,

We didn't get the news we were believing for today. BUT- Still believing, still seeking what to do from here.Thank you for the prayers, and more prayers are appreciated.

Ben

More than you'll ever know. Thank you!

You have been such an intricate part of our lives this past year. You have truly given us a life changing example of what it means to be the body of Christ in words and deeds.

Each of you have your own lives to live, your own battles to fight, yet the faithfulness and love you have displayed in actively standing side by side with us as Stew battles cancer has revealed the Father in you to us. Because of you we have seen His kindness, His goodness, His love, His faithfulness, and we have not walked alone.

We can not think about you without gratitude and prayers flooding our hearts. 

You have taken on a burden that wasn't your own and haven't set it aside or given up.

There are not enough words to express what is in our hearts.

Thank you!

Love, 

Stew and Deb

A Look Back. A Look Forward:

We walk by faith, not by sight.

 2 Corinthians 5:7

It dawned on us today that on the 28th of July, 2016, we met with the oncologist for the first time and life changed as we knew it. That is when it was confirmed Stew had an advanced stage of cancer called mantle cell lymphoma.

And, this coming Wednesday, 28 July, 2017, exactly a year later, we meet with Dr. B. to be told if the tests show Stew is in remission. This is our third time facing a meeting like this, and as you know, the past two times did not bring the news we were waiting to hear. We are so hoping and believing this time will be different.

That said, we have decided we definitely have reasons to celebrate this Tuesday evening, before we see the doctor on Wednesday, with a date night.  Here we are, a year later, and cancer has not won. Stew is still here, we are still making memories, and  still living life together. What a gift we have been given!

In fact, we are going to have two date nights within this next week, The 31st of July we celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary. Last year our anniversary was overshadowed with the possibility that it could be our last...not true.

It's going to be a blessed week.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Face To The Wall,
Love and prayers,
Stew and Deb