What Do You Do When You Get News You Don't Want?

You...

Cry: Oh, how I, Deb, do everything I can not to cry when we are with the doctor! This time was a miserable fail. :-(

Sit very still: That's Stew. :-)

Comfort and express gratitude for the doctor: He is trying everything he can on our behalf.

Call your family: This is added hurt because of how very much you love them.You know they are praying and believing, and it is painful to share something with those you love that on the surface appears to be in opposition to what is hoped for. Especially when you can't accompany it with a hug and share in person.

Work in the yard: (Do life as normal)

Cry some more: Actually tears kind of splatter themselves throughout the day unbidden. And not just out of sadness, but of gratitude and hope, too. They just get all mingled together. Kind of like life.

Put aside: electronics, face book, television for a few hours, and accept your son's offer to share the news with all who care.

Hug and touch a lot.

Pray: A bunch of words jumbled with emotion, half completed sentences, and no fully developed thoughts, yet fully developed in  numbness and hope. Words that are driven by a deep need and yearning for the One God more than the one answer.

Fill the house with songs: Worship songs mixed with love songs.

Give thanks: We have so many people and things to be thankful for!

Pray again: For our family and those who are staying so close to us.

Talk: about the dream trip Stew would like to take. (Right now it is a toss up between seeing the Steelers play this season, going to Yellowstone National Park, Scotland, Colorado, and of course, seeing all our friends and family.)

Sleep

Wake up: Reminding yourself of God's new mercies for the day, and His word in your heart declaring, "Do not be dismayed or discouraged because of this vast army, For the battle is not yours, but God's."2 Chronicles 20:15

Yesterday, as Ben shared, we did not receive the news hoped for. Stew is not in remission. And, for the first time an estimated time of life was shared. That one hit hard.

Today Stew is going in the hospital for his longest stay yet, five days. He will receive a hyper round of a different chemo with some being given in his spine. The cancer in the bone marrow has progressed as well. The thought is that to do this might help prevent the cancer from spreading to his brain, or slow it down.

So, the boys (boxers) are with our friend Barry. Charlee is going to the kennel, and bags are packed by the door. Now we wait on the phone call telling us a room is ready.

Thank you for the prayers and fasting.
Thank you for the gift you are to us.

Love,
Stew and Deb

You Make Me Sing on the Battlefield.

https://youtu.be/IyVP1ImEj9s