Sometimes Unscripted Moments are God Moments

Anniversary Gift Created By Our Daughter

Monday, July 31, was our 46th anniversary and the day Stew was to come home from a five day hospital stay. It was going to be a double celebration day. That is not what happened.

Early that morning Stew woke up not feeling well, hurting, and his levels not where they needed to be. The extra steroids and fluids were having their effect also as he looked a little like a smaller version of a sumo wrestler with the swelling in his face and stomach. Because the toxicity of one of the chemos had to be totally flushed out of his system before going home and wasn't, we were told Stew would have the privilege of being a guest of the hospital at least one more night.

One celebration temporarily delayed.

But, not the other.

That evening we decorated the room with balloons, his hospital tray with a tablecloth, and enjoyed one of his favorite foods; calamari from the Pho restaurant.

The nurses on his floor knew it was our anniversary because he used it to try and convince the doctor to let him go home. 😉 We received best wishes from them and questions about how we met. Each person that came into his room made us feel as though they were truly celebrating with us.

Yet, the best gift was yet to come.

When the shifts changed, our night nurse told us she heard it was our anniversary and asked what we liked to do to celebrate. We shared with her that we enjoyed dancing together in our living room or on our back patio under the stars. We told her we had tried with "IV" but she didn't cooperate very well. Our nurse smiled and said, " I think we can give you that dance."

So, when it was time to change the empty IV bag for a new one, she disconnected Stew from the pump, told us she would wait five minutes to connect the new one, and left the room so we could dance.

Which is exactly what we did.

For a few precious moments it was just Stew and I. No cancer. No hospital room. No decisions to be made. No tomorrow. Just time standing still as we held each other close...our feet slowly moving to the music that had been "our songs" for years. He even softly sang to me as we danced. It was a moment tinged with sadness, yet filled with so much joy.

It was a God gift given to us through the kindness of a caring nurse.

It was our best anniversary yet.

So thankful.

Stew and Deb

P.S. Thank you for the texts and anniversary cards we received. You made our hearts smile

Calamari with a graham cracker and peanut butter dessert

Maybe we need a class on how to take good selfies

"IV" is a Steelers' fan

Blessed

           

  

What Do You Do When You Get News You Don't Want?

You...

Cry: Oh, how I, Deb, do everything I can not to cry when we are with the doctor! This time was a miserable fail. :-(

Sit very still: That's Stew. :-)

Comfort and express gratitude for the doctor: He is trying everything he can on our behalf.

Call your family: This is added hurt because of how very much you love them.You know they are praying and believing, and it is painful to share something with those you love that on the surface appears to be in opposition to what is hoped for. Especially when you can't accompany it with a hug and share in person.

Work in the yard: (Do life as normal)

Cry some more: Actually tears kind of splatter themselves throughout the day unbidden. And not just out of sadness, but of gratitude and hope, too. They just get all mingled together. Kind of like life.

Put aside: electronics, face book, television for a few hours, and accept your son's offer to share the news with all who care.

Hug and touch a lot.

Pray: A bunch of words jumbled with emotion, half completed sentences, and no fully developed thoughts, yet fully developed in  numbness and hope. Words that are driven by a deep need and yearning for the One God more than the one answer.

Fill the house with songs: Worship songs mixed with love songs.

Give thanks: We have so many people and things to be thankful for!

Pray again: For our family and those who are staying so close to us.

Talk: about the dream trip Stew would like to take. (Right now it is a toss up between seeing the Steelers play this season, going to Yellowstone National Park, Scotland, Colorado, and of course, seeing all our friends and family.)

Sleep

Wake up: Reminding yourself of God's new mercies for the day, and His word in your heart declaring, "Do not be dismayed or discouraged because of this vast army, For the battle is not yours, but God's."2 Chronicles 20:15

Yesterday, as Ben shared, we did not receive the news hoped for. Stew is not in remission. And, for the first time an estimated time of life was shared. That one hit hard.

Today Stew is going in the hospital for his longest stay yet, five days. He will receive a hyper round of a different chemo with some being given in his spine. The cancer in the bone marrow has progressed as well. The thought is that to do this might help prevent the cancer from spreading to his brain, or slow it down.

So, the boys (boxers) are with our friend Barry. Charlee is going to the kennel, and bags are packed by the door. Now we wait on the phone call telling us a room is ready.

Thank you for the prayers and fasting.
Thank you for the gift you are to us.

Love,
Stew and Deb

You Make Me Sing on the Battlefield.

https://youtu.be/IyVP1ImEj9s

Dad's Appointment Today

Hey,

We didn't get the news we were believing for today. BUT- Still believing, still seeking what to do from here.Thank you for the prayers, and more prayers are appreciated.

Ben

More than you'll ever know. Thank you!

You have been such an intricate part of our lives this past year. You have truly given us a life changing example of what it means to be the body of Christ in words and deeds.

Each of you have your own lives to live, your own battles to fight, yet the faithfulness and love you have displayed in actively standing side by side with us as Stew battles cancer has revealed the Father in you to us. Because of you we have seen His kindness, His goodness, His love, His faithfulness, and we have not walked alone.

We can not think about you without gratitude and prayers flooding our hearts. 

You have taken on a burden that wasn't your own and haven't set it aside or given up.

There are not enough words to express what is in our hearts.

Thank you!

Love, 

Stew and Deb

A Look Back. A Look Forward:

We walk by faith, not by sight.

 2 Corinthians 5:7

It dawned on us today that on the 28th of July, 2016, we met with the oncologist for the first time and life changed as we knew it. That is when it was confirmed Stew had an advanced stage of cancer called mantle cell lymphoma.

And, this coming Wednesday, 28 July, 2017, exactly a year later, we meet with Dr. B. to be told if the tests show Stew is in remission. This is our third time facing a meeting like this, and as you know, the past two times did not bring the news we were waiting to hear. We are so hoping and believing this time will be different.

That said, we have decided we definitely have reasons to celebrate this Tuesday evening, before we see the doctor on Wednesday, with a date night.  Here we are, a year later, and cancer has not won. Stew is still here, we are still making memories, and  still living life together. What a gift we have been given!

In fact, we are going to have two date nights within this next week, The 31st of July we celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary. Last year our anniversary was overshadowed with the possibility that it could be our last...not true.

It's going to be a blessed week.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Face To The Wall,
Love and prayers,
Stew and Deb

Random practical info about cancer and chemo in Stew's life that you might not know...and more.

Chemo:
-Hand sanitizer becomes your very needed best friend.
-Protective face masks smell.
-At different times face masks are part of your wardrobe.
-Hair doesn't only disappear from your head, but from your chest, back, legs, and even armpits.
-Chemo brain (fog) is real.
-A rubber bracelet identifying you as a chemo-with-port patient is worn at all times.
-Taste buds continually change. One day something tastes good, the next day it doesn't.
-Bathroom sinks become mini medicine cabinets.
-You are a human pin cushion. (This was the first one Stew thought of)
-Bathroom restrictions are in place for 48 hours after chemo:
   Toilet lid down before flushing.
   Family members don't use the same toilet.
   Clean after each use.
-Baskets of saltines are part of the hospital decor.
-Treatments are identified by letters:
  RCHOP
  CVAD
  etc.
-A good thermometer by the bedside is necessary.
-No manual razors, only electric. Why? When platelets are low you can't risk cutting yourself and  bleeding. It could be a guaranteed trip to the hospital.
-Water, water, water...at least 8 bottles a day.
-You can feel okay in the morning and be almost unable to function in the afternoon.
- Average number of trips to the the doctor/hospital/infusion center are 1-2 times a week.
-Neuropathy becomes a factor in your day. Especially in the way your legs work.


Cancer:
-You can look good on the outside and  still be dying on the inside.
-Bone biopsies hurt.
-It's not a respecter of race, culture, sex, or age. Just last week during our 15 minutes in the waiting  room we waited with a child, teenager, mom, dad, grandparent, male, female, African Americans,  Asians, Caucasians, etc.
-The word "Cancer" is not a one size fits all. There are over 100 major groups of cancer. And, each of  those can be broken down to different types within the group.
   Example:                      Blood Cancers
                                     Three main groups
                        Leukemia, Lymphoma, and Myeloma
                                   Types of Lymphoma
                    NHL (Non Hodgkins)        HL (Hodgkins)
                              61 types                         4 types
                      (mantle cell is NHL)
-What helps one type of cancer might not help another when taking chemo. Example: When some  heard Stew had cancer, caring recommendations were made that Stew drink green tea and use frankincense. I drink at least one cup of green tea a day because it  is good for you. Yet, for Stew it would have been potentially harmful. With one of the chemos he has taken, green tea has been proven to inhibit the effectiveness of the treatments. And, the same was true of frankincense.
-Some cancer symptoms are the same as chemo symptoms so you don't always know which one is    affecting you.
-Weight matters.
-Toast is the one staple that almost always tastes good.
-You pray to live, but prepare to die. Medical power of attorney, living will directive, update of wills, financial power of attorney, etc. are all necessary forms/paperwork to be completed.

Updates:
-As many know, two weeks ago Stew had a very difficult week as he had developed a viral infection.  Praise God, he is much better now. Things like that make us appreciate even more the good, good  days we have. Thank you to all who prayed, shared scriptures, songs, sweet gifts, and words of encouragement.
-Last week we spent the day at the hospital going through all the tests for re-staging. We were also  given a tentative plan for the days ahead, but we have many questions yet to be answered before  final decisions are made.

Thank you for your continued prayers.
Love,
Stew and Deb

A few pictures from the past couple of weeks.

Family Time in Tennessee

Family Time in Tennessee

Good afternoon!

The DVD from our trip to Tennessee is attached to this post. Just click on the printed words above if you want to view it.

We had such a blessed and needed time with all of our family in one place at one time.

Some joy moments:

Stew stayed healthy and did so well!

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. Never underestimate the power of a hug. Hugs communicate the hope, encouragement, comfort, joy and love that our words inadequately express. Our little Bethania didn't talk quite as much as everyone else, but the abundant hugs she shared melted our hearts and brought many many smiles...as did those of everyone else.

Driving up their drive way each morning to see sweet faces on the porch waiting to greet us, and leaving at night to those same sweet faces waving goodbye.

Line dancing and doing country swing with our grandchildren in the living room . So much laughter, fun, and stepping on each others' feet.

Family meals at a huge table in Ben and Nili's lovely home. A dream realized. Even before Stew and I had children I would dream about about one day having  family get- togethers around a huge table filled with lots of happy faces, animated conversations, and prayer. Dreams come true!

Steeler corn hole games.

Horseback riding.

Swimming and Marco Polo.

Spud. A game that was taught to us by my mom and has been played by every generation since.

Reading books together, coloring, playing games, and quiet conversations.

Sitting on the front porch. Big front porch!

Gifts of notes and artwork given for us to take home.

Family Worship.

Visiting Ben and Nili's new church home and meeting some of those on staff. It meant so much to see that in this new place God has them, there are already people who care for their family.

Stew and Ben recreating a skit they had performed many years ago when we were youth pastors and Ben was a youth. Oh my gosh!! They were so funny.

The sweet friend who went the extra mile (s) and drove to our house each day from Allen to take care of plants and make sure all was well in our home.

Coming home to find food in our refrigerator and fruit on our counter.

And, the totally amazing miraculous gift given to us of a private plane with pilot to fly us to Tennessee and back home. We were overwhelmed and shocked by the generosity and kindness of those who made it happen. There are no words to express our gratitude to them. We had absolutely no clue something like that would happen to us. It made the trip so easy and comfortable for Stew. I think we are still stunned. What a lesson it was and is of how our God does so much more than we can even think or comprehend!

Thank you for praying with us that we would get to make this trip. We appreciate the way you stay with us in the battles and in the joys. Still praying that you reap in abundance all the seeds you sow into our lives and the lives of others for the kingdom.

With much love,
Stew and Deb