A Look Back. A Look Forward:

We walk by faith, not by sight.

 2 Corinthians 5:7

It dawned on us today that on the 28th of July, 2016, we met with the oncologist for the first time and life changed as we knew it. That is when it was confirmed Stew had an advanced stage of cancer called mantle cell lymphoma.

And, this coming Wednesday, 28 July, 2017, exactly a year later, we meet with Dr. B. to be told if the tests show Stew is in remission. This is our third time facing a meeting like this, and as you know, the past two times did not bring the news we were waiting to hear. We are so hoping and believing this time will be different.

That said, we have decided we definitely have reasons to celebrate this Tuesday evening, before we see the doctor on Wednesday, with a date night.  Here we are, a year later, and cancer has not won. Stew is still here, we are still making memories, and  still living life together. What a gift we have been given!

In fact, we are going to have two date nights within this next week, The 31st of July we celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary. Last year our anniversary was overshadowed with the possibility that it could be our last...not true.

It's going to be a blessed week.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Face To The Wall,
Love and prayers,
Stew and Deb

Random practical info about cancer and chemo in Stew's life that you might not know...and more.

Chemo:
-Hand sanitizer becomes your very needed best friend.
-Protective face masks smell.
-At different times face masks are part of your wardrobe.
-Hair doesn't only disappear from your head, but from your chest, back, legs, and even armpits.
-Chemo brain (fog) is real.
-A rubber bracelet identifying you as a chemo-with-port patient is worn at all times.
-Taste buds continually change. One day something tastes good, the next day it doesn't.
-Bathroom sinks become mini medicine cabinets.
-You are a human pin cushion. (This was the first one Stew thought of)
-Bathroom restrictions are in place for 48 hours after chemo:
   Toilet lid down before flushing.
   Family members don't use the same toilet.
   Clean after each use.
-Baskets of saltines are part of the hospital decor.
-Treatments are identified by letters:
  RCHOP
  CVAD
  etc.
-A good thermometer by the bedside is necessary.
-No manual razors, only electric. Why? When platelets are low you can't risk cutting yourself and  bleeding. It could be a guaranteed trip to the hospital.
-Water, water, water...at least 8 bottles a day.
-You can feel okay in the morning and be almost unable to function in the afternoon.
- Average number of trips to the the doctor/hospital/infusion center are 1-2 times a week.
-Neuropathy becomes a factor in your day. Especially in the way your legs work.


Cancer:
-You can look good on the outside and  still be dying on the inside.
-Bone biopsies hurt.
-It's not a respecter of race, culture, sex, or age. Just last week during our 15 minutes in the waiting  room we waited with a child, teenager, mom, dad, grandparent, male, female, African Americans,  Asians, Caucasians, etc.
-The word "Cancer" is not a one size fits all. There are over 100 major groups of cancer. And, each of  those can be broken down to different types within the group.
   Example:                      Blood Cancers
                                     Three main groups
                        Leukemia, Lymphoma, and Myeloma
                                   Types of Lymphoma
                    NHL (Non Hodgkins)        HL (Hodgkins)
                              61 types                         4 types
                      (mantle cell is NHL)
-What helps one type of cancer might not help another when taking chemo. Example: When some  heard Stew had cancer, caring recommendations were made that Stew drink green tea and use frankincense. I drink at least one cup of green tea a day because it  is good for you. Yet, for Stew it would have been potentially harmful. With one of the chemos he has taken, green tea has been proven to inhibit the effectiveness of the treatments. And, the same was true of frankincense.
-Some cancer symptoms are the same as chemo symptoms so you don't always know which one is    affecting you.
-Weight matters.
-Toast is the one staple that almost always tastes good.
-You pray to live, but prepare to die. Medical power of attorney, living will directive, update of wills, financial power of attorney, etc. are all necessary forms/paperwork to be completed.

Updates:
-As many know, two weeks ago Stew had a very difficult week as he had developed a viral infection.  Praise God, he is much better now. Things like that make us appreciate even more the good, good  days we have. Thank you to all who prayed, shared scriptures, songs, sweet gifts, and words of encouragement.
-Last week we spent the day at the hospital going through all the tests for re-staging. We were also  given a tentative plan for the days ahead, but we have many questions yet to be answered before  final decisions are made.

Thank you for your continued prayers.
Love,
Stew and Deb

A few pictures from the past couple of weeks.

Family Time in Tennessee

Family Time in Tennessee

Good afternoon!

The DVD from our trip to Tennessee is attached to this post. Just click on the printed words above if you want to view it.

We had such a blessed and needed time with all of our family in one place at one time.

Some joy moments:

Stew stayed healthy and did so well!

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. Never underestimate the power of a hug. Hugs communicate the hope, encouragement, comfort, joy and love that our words inadequately express. Our little Bethania didn't talk quite as much as everyone else, but the abundant hugs she shared melted our hearts and brought many many smiles...as did those of everyone else.

Driving up their drive way each morning to see sweet faces on the porch waiting to greet us, and leaving at night to those same sweet faces waving goodbye.

Line dancing and doing country swing with our grandchildren in the living room . So much laughter, fun, and stepping on each others' feet.

Family meals at a huge table in Ben and Nili's lovely home. A dream realized. Even before Stew and I had children I would dream about about one day having  family get- togethers around a huge table filled with lots of happy faces, animated conversations, and prayer. Dreams come true!

Steeler corn hole games.

Horseback riding.

Swimming and Marco Polo.

Spud. A game that was taught to us by my mom and has been played by every generation since.

Reading books together, coloring, playing games, and quiet conversations.

Sitting on the front porch. Big front porch!

Gifts of notes and artwork given for us to take home.

Family Worship.

Visiting Ben and Nili's new church home and meeting some of those on staff. It meant so much to see that in this new place God has them, there are already people who care for their family.

Stew and Ben recreating a skit they had performed many years ago when we were youth pastors and Ben was a youth. Oh my gosh!! They were so funny.

The sweet friend who went the extra mile (s) and drove to our house each day from Allen to take care of plants and make sure all was well in our home.

Coming home to find food in our refrigerator and fruit on our counter.

And, the totally amazing miraculous gift given to us of a private plane with pilot to fly us to Tennessee and back home. We were overwhelmed and shocked by the generosity and kindness of those who made it happen. There are no words to express our gratitude to them. We had absolutely no clue something like that would happen to us. It made the trip so easy and comfortable for Stew. I think we are still stunned. What a lesson it was and is of how our God does so much more than we can even think or comprehend!

Thank you for praying with us that we would get to make this trip. We appreciate the way you stay with us in the battles and in the joys. Still praying that you reap in abundance all the seeds you sow into our lives and the lives of others for the kingdom.

With much love,
Stew and Deb

Update and More

Stew and I have this photograph hanging on the bulletin board in our home as a visual reminder of what we are hoping and praying is our future. Just like Hezekiah with his "face to the wall"  we are believing this will be us on July 31, 2031.

Update: Stew has his second, and possibly final chemo in this new round of treatments on June 29th and 30th. Two to three weeks after chemo they will do tests again to check for remission. We have doctors that are doing the best they know, yet at this time, as of this week, the growing lymphomas in Stew's abdomen that can be seen and felt are still there.  He was told "let's just wait and see what happens" after this next treatment. We don't like the facts before us and each time we have to see them, it hurts. Yet we have known since the beginning Whose hand his healing ultimately rests in, and we find a place of comfort and confidence in that truth.  

Let's Eat: So, of course we did what anyone would do. After that appointment, we splurged and enjoyed a take out meal of calamari from our favorite Pho Restaurant along with Sugar free cookies from Kroger and a watermelon from Sprouts!😋

Tender Times: Noah has now gone to the infusion center with Stew twice so far for the chemo lab work and an injection.  This has meant much to Stew. And, it speaks a lot to Noah's love for his grandfather, otherwise known as Paw Caw.

Dancing: Did you know you can dance. laugh, and cry at the same time? 

You can and we do.

The dance instructor who gave us our first dance lessons over 18 months ago, before all this began, blessed us with a free lesson on Saturday even though the original plan was for us to pay. It did not take her long to recognize that something was wrong as we were not able to complete that lesson, and rest breaks were taken. But, we had so much fun! As we were leaving, she told us there will be a chair waiting for Stew if we want to come to any of the Tuesday evening group classes...for free! 

We plan on going.

Truth: A quote from Bill Johnson that resonates in our hearts. 

"As believers, we can be honest about our challenging situations, but we can thank God in advance for His solutions. Take a hold of His promises and lead with gratitude!" 

Thanking God for you daily and fervently.

Face to the Wall,

Love,

Stew and Deb

Timely encouragement shared by a friend.

Stew's Surprise Birthday
Click this link to view.

Woohoo! Are you ready? The birthday video is complete. We hope when you view it, it was worth the wait. Stew and I  have already watched it three times through the editing process this morning, and became teary-eyed with each viewing as the flood of emotions came back of the way we felt on that special day.

It was special because of each of you. Thank you!

Here's a brief glimpse into the days prior to the big event.

On Wednesday, the actual day of his birthday, he felt so unwell that we didn't go out to eat as a family, and he cancelled his weekly cribbage date with Clarke.  Amy, Shi, and Noah did come to the house to give Stew his gift, but about fifteen minutes into the visit he was asleep.

Thursday he was unable to go to work.

Friday he returned to work, but had to come home at noon. So, I shared with him about the party planned for that evening, and asked what he wanted to do. He so wanted to go ahead with it, and we did.

That afternoon Stew soundly slept while we decorated  the patio with Steeler party items, and as each guest arrived.

When I woke him up and he saw everything/everyone, he was so touched and still surprised.  Even though he knew about the party, he didn't know who was attending, and he knew nothing about the over 55 cards/gifts he had received from friends and family all across the United States.

Reflecting on that week, God's hand of love at work in the hearts of so many who gave of time, words, and thoughtfulness can be clearly seen. A very challenging week could have ended in a totally different way...

But for God and you!

Thank you for being a part of ushering in victory and, as Stew said, "Making it one of the most special days of his life."

With love and gratitude.

Face to the Wall,

Stew and Deb
P.S. We hope those that sent birthday cards, messages, gifts, and those who were able to be here received their thank you cards. There were a couple of addresses we were unsure of. If you didn't receive one, please let us know. It was so important to Stew to let each of you know how much your kindness met to him.

Here we sit waiting for the labs to confirm that chemo is a go. Today's infusion will take 6-7 hours.  It is our first time in this infusion center and everyone seems so thoughtful and kind. The area is set up with individual cubicles, so our opportunity to interact with others will be limited, but not totally impossible.

It is interesting how words can bring comfort and sadness at the same time. As we were getting settled in the medical assistant said, "Welcome to your second family." It really does become that way each time a treatment is given. We are thankful for the people we have met, and the stories that have been shared. Yet, like everyone else here, we are hoping for the words "You are healed!" to be shouted from the roof tops.

Week before last we had two first hand glimpses of that victory shout. The first was at the Proton Therapy Center where Stew was having a special test done. As we entered the check in/waiting area, we noticed a large circular gold gong on a stand by the stairway. As the morning progressed we learned what it represented. It was beautiful.

About mid morning a nurse came down the hallway with an older gentleman and asked for every one's attention. She announced that his treatments were successfully completed, read a poem, and handed him a big gold mallet. He turned around with a huge smile and hit it as hard as he could. Everyone began to clap and cheer. Tears filled his eyes as he walked down the line of nurses, receptionists, and others that were there to shake his hand or give him hugs. As I glanced around the waiting area I could see similar tears and smiles of joy gracing the faces of those watching.

The other was in the waiting room at Dr. B.'s. While Stew was having labs drawn, a gentleman sat down next to me and began to share his story. He had been diagnosed with cancer of a different type than Stew, undergone chemo, hit remission, and received a stem cell transplant. He now had an appointment to see if all was going well. When his name was called, he stood, gave me a thumbs up, and entered through the door that would lead him back to where he believed good news awaited.

A while later, the door to the examine rooms opened. Out he came, looked around the waiting area, saw us still sitting there, and almost floated over to where we were with a huge grin on his face. It had worked and he was being released back to his own doctor. His happiness was almost tangible. He thanked us for our prayers and said he hoped the same for us.

These are the things hope are built on. God is the foundation, but moments like these help to keep it alive.

So thankful for what the Father did in both of these men's lives.  So thankful that the Father gave us these miraculous healing glimpses in the midst of our circumstances. What a gift it was to be able to celebrate together!

Reminders that joy isn't only found in your own answer received, but that it is found in each moment of victory, no matter whose the victory is, are precious. Joy is found in celebrating gifts of life. It is found in the heart of the Father. It is found in honoring what gives Him joy.

And, when eyes are open to see it, to see Him and be thankful...we are made stronger. For it is "the joy of the Lord that is our strength." Praying for eyes that continue to see His joy before us.

Thankful for:

Early morning rain.

The ding of incoming texts last night and this morning from those who remembered this was Stew's first day of the new chemo. We read each one and rejoiced at the prayers, love, and thoughts given. We were like little children opening a gift.

Crackers and juice provided by the clinic. They have already been used.

Pillows and blankets...infusion centers are cold!

Katie's (Dr. B's PA) just now visit: Antibiotics, medicines, precautions, etc, will be ready for us on Monday for our trip to see Ben and family next week. Loved her happiness for us.

Family!

You!

Our Father...

With hearts full of love and gratitude,
Faces-to-the-Wall,
Stew and Deb

Waiting with a smile.


Our home away from home.


Benadryl taking effect. :-)

"I AM the One Who calms the storms...

Last Monday we met with Dr. B. , our stem cell transplant doctor, to hear what he had to say about the mantle cell in Stew's body, and any recommendations he might have.

Truthfully, as we parked our car and slowly navigated our way through the halls of Medical City to Dr. B.'s office, our walk consisted of clasped hands, moments of silence, "I love you's", and attempts at everyday conversation. We were walking with two other companions... fragile hope and unspoken silent prayers. You see, even though we had not shared it with others, we knew God had spoken to our hearts on April 4, 2017, the words "Rough days are yet to come...but believe this when I say I am the One Who calms the storms." 

"Rough days yet to come":
During our meeting the doctor shared the specifics of the test results:
The cancer is growing.
The lymphomas have doubled in size from what they were 2 months ago.
There are more.
Their density has increased by 50%.
They could begin involving organs.

He shared that medically we really only have one option that will give Stew more than a 1 out of 5 life opportunity. It is a targeted therapy that carries with it a different type of risk. This chemo regimen, depending on the amount given and how Stew's body responds, can possibly bring remission or, because of what it does to the blood cells in his body, it can make a stem cell transplant no longer viable.

So, a new two day chemo begins this Thursday. Two rounds will be done, and then more testing for remission.

"The One Who calms the storms":

After being offered this treatment possibility we learned our insurance did not cover it. Stew then met with the Benefits Counselor and an "urgent" exception was filed. As unbelievable as it may sound, it was approved the same day!! Talk about God miracles...:-)

Thankful for reminders all the time that our hope, our answers are not found in the hands of man, though God can use them. But, ultimately they are found in the heart of God!

We discussed our desire to see our Tennessee family at the meeting and we were told to "go ahead." Such happiness in our grandparent hearts. Dr. B. did add the recommendation that we be gone no longer than three days, but we can handle that. Three days are a gift!! Any amount of time is a gift!

With love and appreciation for the Father, our family, and you,
Face-to-the Wall,
Stew and Deb


The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save, he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love, he exults over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17